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Bullshit Your Mum Told You

Discussion in 'Cardiff City Forum' started by Joecity, Jul 10, 2018.

  1. LordKenwyne

    LordKenwyne Player of the Month

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    That must have been horrifying. :hehe:
     

  2. Barry Shitpeas

    Barry Shitpeas Club and Country Superstar

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    Bats carry rabies don’t they? You’d have been better off taking your chances with the sandman.
     
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  3. I.8.POLITICAL.CORRECTNESS

    I.8.POLITICAL.CORRECTNESS Ballon d'Or Winner

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    going out with so many women , you will get a name for yourself
    (how do you tell your mum , "no mum thats just women" ) :hehe:
     
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  4. TH63

    TH63 Moderator
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    Interesting to note that so far nobody's admitted to "Stop that, you'll go blind"
     
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  5. Dr. Lecter

    Dr. Lecter Ballon d'Or Winner

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    I would say things were different then but I think it just comes down to individuals.

    My parents (and I’ve since discovered my wife’s parents as well) used to tell their kids all sorts of shit.

    1. There was a monster in the attic called Charlie who would come and take you into the attic if you didn’t go to sleep.

    2. The rag and bone man was shouting “bring out your dead” and was collecting corpses.

    3. Naughty kids would be taken away by gypsies to go live ‘in the homes’

    4. Dad was going to run away with Maggie Thatcher.

    5. Mam was going to run away with a black man.

    6. If you write a nice letter to the paedophile on telly then he’ll let you do stuff.

    As I got older I realised that most of my friends parents didn’t do stuff like this (apart from number 6 of course)
     
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  6. I.8.POLITICAL.CORRECTNESS

    I.8.POLITICAL.CORRECTNESS Ballon d'Or Winner

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    we was always told number 3 :hehe:
     

  7. George&Louis

    George&Louis Youth Squad

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    If you don't behave I'll send you back to your real mother in Neath.
    Neath for fcuk sake!
    Imagine if she had said Swansea, I'd be selling pegs by now.
     
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  8. VISIT MALAYSIA

    VISIT MALAYSIA Ballon d'Or Winner

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    My Nan always used to say to me, 'Violence is NEVER the answer'.
    Recently, when on the TV Game Show 'The Weakest Link' Anne Robinson asked me the question : What V can be behaviour involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something? and I answered the question incorrectly and missed out banking £1000.
    Well, thanks a lot Nan.
     
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  9. bluethrough

    bluethrough Ballon d'Or Winner

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    My mum said I would grow up to be a handsome man....eventually even she had to conceed that it was hope more than anything.
     
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  10. Arkay Dubya

    Arkay Dubya Club and Country Superstar

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    Bread crusts will make your hair grow curly, apparently. Also, if you eat Oxo cubes straight out of the packet you get worms.

    :yikes:
     
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  11. Itkman

    Itkman Ballon d'Or Winner
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    My mum never caught me wanking.
     
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  12. Colonel Cardiffi

    Colonel Cardiffi C'mon CITY!
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    ^THIS

    In other news, @TH63's Mum caught him wanking.
     
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  13. LordKenwyne

    LordKenwyne Player of the Month

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    That one is hilarious :hehe:

    probably not so much at the time
     

  14. steve davies

    steve davies Club and Country Superstar

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    thats because my mother used to blindfold me when she used to molest me and toss me off so i never had to put up with all that blind bullshit. I never had the heart to tell her she wasent as good at it as my sister as it would have broken her heart.
     
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  15. steve davies

    steve davies Club and Country Superstar

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    how old were you when you realised number six was jimmy saville
     
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  16. bluethrough

    bluethrough Ballon d'Or Winner

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    Didn't have you down as a Swansea boy
     
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  17. steve davies

    steve davies Club and Country Superstar

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    valleys boy butt
    if i had let the whole family get at me then obviously i would have been shipped to townhill as would have been appropriate but ours was a three ring circus well two rings and a penis
     

  18. bluethrough

    bluethrough Ballon d'Or Winner

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    Will certainly take your word for it but all sounds a bit suspect, especially as there is not even one sheep involved.
     

  19. Joecity

    Joecity Ballon d'Or Winner
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    My mum nearly caught me. She said that she heard me once FFS. Clearly lying cause I would have a pool ball or a tangerine in my mouth. Bullshit again.
     

  20. lardy

    lardy Club and Country Superstar

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    Are you still disappointed itkman's mum never caught you wanking?