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The great turkey run 2018

Discussion in 'Cardiff City Forum' started by Ainsley Harriott, Dec 24, 2018.

  1. Glos Blue

    Glos Blue Vegan
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    I selected our Christmas turkey from my farm about 4 weeks ago. I picked the smallest I could find (as it’s a stag farm and they reach up to 20kg), it’s was a hen and still weighed in at a whopping 11.5kg. Killed, plucked and prepared it with the help of my kids, hung it in the garage for a week and froze it until 3 days ago, since when it’s been thawing slowly in the fridge.
    There’s something extremely satisfying about rearing your own food. What’s equally as important is that my kids know exactly where their food comes from.

    We’ve got 10 for dinner tomorrow, I’ve written up my schedule for cooking, just need to stick to the timings and it makes cooking stress free. I’m chilling with a single malt whilst Mrs Glos finishes wrapping the last of the presents.

    On the farm at 6.30 tomorrow morning, we’ve just had a new crop of 17,410 turkey chicks in. I’ll be back at the homestead by 10 to enjoy seeing the joy in my kids faces.

    I love this time of year. I hope you all have a happy and healthy Christmas and New Year.
     
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  2. Colonel Cardiffi

    Colonel Cardiffi C'mon CITY!
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    Brilliant. You are more organised than I've ever been in anything in my entire life :hehe:

    What's this about 17 thousand turkey chicks then?
     
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  3. Glos Blue

    Glos Blue Vegan
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    Thanks for golding, although not needed as more than happy to contribute my £2 a month.

    We have 3 crops a year, the last crop left 2 weeks ago and we’ve been getting the farm ready for the new birds ever since.
    17,410 chicks arrived over the last 3 nights and the last load was delivered here at 3am today. I’ve been working 22 hour days and am absolutely fucked. But now they’re in and settled, just in time for me to enjoy Christmas.
    I will sleep like a baby tonight, living the perfect life with my amazing family.

    If Carlsberg made lifestyles....
     
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  4. Joecity

    Joecity Ballon d'Or Winner
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    All kids should go to an abattoir I reckon. For a look around like, not to go on the line. I know they have started doing so with some schools in Denmark. Respect the animal.
     
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  5. Ainsley Harriott

    Ainsley Harriott Give your meat a good ol' rub
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    I still don't believe this fully answered the Colonel's question.

    17,410 turkeys...

    I can imagine looking into a barn of 100-200 turkeys and thinking "you motherfuckers are loud and smell like Danny Devito's gooch." 17,410 isn't a real number at this point.

    When it's "time", do they just have to hurl them like rugby balls into a wood chipper, and see what turns into fillets & what ends up as nuggets, or is there time to have any sort of method in the madness when it comes to 17 thousand turkeys all gobbling away?
     
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  6. Colonel Cardiffi

    Colonel Cardiffi C'mon CITY!
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    Yeah
     
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  7. Glos Blue

    Glos Blue Vegan
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    The barns are vast, more like aircraft hanger size. They are loud and do have a certain aroma but it’s not too unpleasant.

    When they leave for the factory they are collected by teams of ‘catchers’ who place the birds into modules which get loaded onto the back of articulated lorries. The catchers work in complete darkness to keep the birds calm and the turkeys just sleep until they’re caught. It’s quite impressive to see them empty a shed of 4.4k turkeys in about 4 hours. It takes 22 artics full to clear the whole farm.

    When the reach the factory they are humanely dispatched and dressed. About 1/3 go to Toby Carvery, the other 2/3 are cut into breast steaks / mince / sausages etc and supplied to the major supermarkets. None of ours are sold as whole birds to the general public, as unless you’ve got an industrial sized kitchen, they won’t fit in your oven.
     
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  8. Joecity

    Joecity Ballon d'Or Winner
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    Has 1 ever escaped like Free Willy and been allowed to live? I'd love that me.
     
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  9. Ainsley Harriott

    Ainsley Harriott Give your meat a good ol' rub
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    Chicken Run 2: Glos Blue's turkey boogaloo
     
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  10. Colonel Cardiffi

    Colonel Cardiffi C'mon CITY!
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    Interesting stuff. It's mad that you went from being a paramedic to being a farmer :hehe::thumbup:
     
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  11. Mrs Steve R

    Mrs Steve R Ballon d'Or Winner
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    Is there an unwritten rule that these things are made to sound as nice as possible? :hehe:
     

  12. Glos Blue

    Glos Blue Vegan
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    Best decision I ever made, the lifestyle is fantastic. Although I do a shift a month as a paramedic to keep my registration.
     
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  13. Splott Dave

    Splott Dave Ballon d'Or Winner
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    Oh! If you don't mind, I think I'll just cancel that request for a custard slice.
     

  14. Mrs Steve R

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    Yeah you say that now but you will soon be begging me on messenger tomorrow to have some delivered :hehe: