1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Things that make Porn less good

Discussion in 'Cardiff City Forum' started by PlumberAde, 10 Sep 2019.

  1. PlumberAde

    PlumberAde Ballon d'Or Winner
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 ❶ 1 YEAR ❶

    Joined:
    25 Mar 2018
    Messages:
    2,393
    Likes Received:
    500
    Ratings:
    +5,067 / 70 / -13
    Blokes wearing socks
    Blokes talking all the way through the video
    Blokes

    And not getting to the end of the video because, you know.... :bighand:
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
    • Meh Meh x 1
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to view full quote
  2. PlumberAde

    PlumberAde Ballon d'Or Winner
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 ❶ 1 YEAR ❶

    Joined:
    25 Mar 2018
    Messages:
    2,393
    Likes Received:
    500
    Ratings:
    +5,067 / 70 / -13
    Pixellation on the Japanese videos.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to view full quote
  3. PlumberAde

    PlumberAde Ballon d'Or Winner
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 ❶ 1 YEAR ❶

    Joined:
    25 Mar 2018
    Messages:
    2,393
    Likes Received:
    500
    Ratings:
    +5,067 / 70 / -13
    When you type in MILF and get women aged about 20, and type in GILF and get women aged about 25.
     
    • Funny Funny x 9
    • Absolutely Spot On Absolutely Spot On x 1
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to view full quote
  4. Travis Bickle

    Travis Bickle Ballon d'Or Winner
    ⭐⭐ PLATINUM ⭐⭐ 🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 🏃🏃🏃 500 PAGER 🏃🏃🏃 ❷ 2 YEARS ❷

    Joined:
    4 Dec 2017
    Messages:
    20,442
    Likes Received:
    8,841
    Ratings:
    +36,209 / 347 / -39
    When you type in horse and you get the 2-30 from Cheltenham
     
    • Funny Funny x 10
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to view full quote
  5. kiffa

    kiffa (kippa)
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 ❷ 2 YEARS ❷ 🗐🗐🗐 30 PAGER 🗐🗐🗐

    Joined:
    29 Oct 2017
    Messages:
    5,433
    Likes Received:
    873
    Ratings:
    +8,883 / 285 / -120
    When you like the look of the thumbnail but there’s no link in the thread
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Absolutely Spot On Absolutely Spot On x 1
  6. PlumberAde

    PlumberAde Ballon d'Or Winner
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 ❶ 1 YEAR ❶

    Joined:
    25 Mar 2018
    Messages:
    2,393
    Likes Received:
    500
    Ratings:
    +5,067 / 70 / -13
    When you type in "Twins, BJ, Swallow" and get an Asian girl and a white girl pretending to be twins. Still watch it though.
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to view full quote
  7. Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe

    Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe Ballon d'Or Winner
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 👥 GTAM WINNER 👥 📞 Cardiff City Master 📞 ❷ 2 YEARS ❷ 🗐 10 PAGER 🗐

    Joined:
    20 Aug 2017
    Messages:
    6,812
    Likes Received:
    1,870
    Ratings:
    +10,304 / 241 / -63
    Annoying audible adverts that pop up every 2 minutes.

    So a bloke down the pub told me.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Absolutely Spot On Absolutely Spot On x 1
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to view full quote
  8. PlumberAde

    PlumberAde Ballon d'Or Winner
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 ❶ 1 YEAR ❶

    Joined:
    25 Mar 2018
    Messages:
    2,393
    Likes Received:
    500
    Ratings:
    +5,067 / 70 / -13
    When you type in "Small woman, big prick" and get a re-run of The Krankies.
     
    • Funny Funny x 9
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to view full quote
  9. Nugent

    Nugent Tory Bastard
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 ❷ 2 YEARS ❷ PICKEM 17/18 - 2nd Place 🏁🏁🏁 50 PAGER 🏁🏁🏁 "Most Normal Person"

    Joined:
    28 Aug 2017
    Messages:
    12,239
    Likes Received:
    1,735
    Ratings:
    +17,143 / 2,351 / -796
    When you hear your missus going to the toilet upstairs when you're in mid tug
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Absolutely Spot On Absolutely Spot On x 3
    • Snowflake Snowflake x 1
  10. PlumberAde

    PlumberAde Ballon d'Or Winner
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 ❶ 1 YEAR ❶

    Joined:
    25 Mar 2018
    Messages:
    2,393
    Likes Received:
    500
    Ratings:
    +5,067 / 70 / -13
    When you watch a Chaturbate stream for 20 minutes, pacing yourself as they reach their target, only for them to fuck off and do a private show for people that spend money.
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Meh Meh x 1
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to view full quote
  11. Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe

    Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe Ballon d'Or Winner
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 👥 GTAM WINNER 👥 📞 Cardiff City Master 📞 ❷ 2 YEARS ❷ 🗐 10 PAGER 🗐

    Joined:
    20 Aug 2017
    Messages:
    6,812
    Likes Received:
    1,870
    Ratings:
    +10,304 / 241 / -63
    Realising that porn once you've jizzed is completely odd.
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • WRENCH OF SHIT WRENCH OF SHIT x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to view full quote
  12. Malarkey

    Malarkey Ballon d'Or Winner
    ⭐⭐ PLATINUM ⭐⭐ ❶ 1 YEAR ❶ 🏁🏁🏁 50 PAGER 🏁🏁🏁

    Joined:
    24 Nov 2018
    Messages:
    3,990
    Likes Received:
    880
    Ratings:
    +8,025 / 92 / -27
    Advertisers are idiots :nqat:
     
    • Absolutely Spot On Absolutely Spot On x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  13. Nugent

    Nugent Tory Bastard
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 ❷ 2 YEARS ❷ PICKEM 17/18 - 2nd Place 🏁🏁🏁 50 PAGER 🏁🏁🏁 "Most Normal Person"

    Joined:
    28 Aug 2017
    Messages:
    12,239
    Likes Received:
    1,735
    Ratings:
    +17,143 / 2,351 / -796
    Wanking over a labour party broadcast by diane abott
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  14. PlumberAde

    PlumberAde Ballon d'Or Winner
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 ❶ 1 YEAR ❶

    Joined:
    25 Mar 2018
    Messages:
    2,393
    Likes Received:
    500
    Ratings:
    +5,067 / 70 / -13
    When you came across stuck pages in your dad's stash.
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to view full quote
  15. Rydogsccfc

    Rydogsccfc Ballon d'Or Winner
    ❶ 1 YEAR ❶ 🗐 10 PAGER 🗐

    Joined:
    8 Apr 2018
    Messages:
    3,531
    Likes Received:
    348
    Ratings:
    +3,581 / 257 / -57
    When you start watching and realise that it's just 2 girls licking chocolate flavour ice cream in a cup extremely disappointing.
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
  16. PlumberAde

    PlumberAde Ballon d'Or Winner
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 ❶ 1 YEAR ❶

    Joined:
    25 Mar 2018
    Messages:
    2,393
    Likes Received:
    500
    Ratings:
    +5,067 / 70 / -13
    When people claim that porn gives us unrealistic expectations of women and sex. Then, the absolute ball ache when they are proven right.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to view full quote
  17. Nugent

    Nugent Tory Bastard
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 ❷ 2 YEARS ❷ PICKEM 17/18 - 2nd Place 🏁🏁🏁 50 PAGER 🏁🏁🏁 "Most Normal Person"

    Joined:
    28 Aug 2017
    Messages:
    12,239
    Likes Received:
    1,735
    Ratings:
    +17,143 / 2,351 / -796
    When , after 3 hours of furious tugging , you finally get your cock rock hard , then to be warned by your phone you have 5% battery left
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  18. Boo

    Boo Balloon Door Wanker
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 ❶ 1 YEAR ❶ 🗐 10 PAGER 🗐

    Joined:
    26 Jan 2018
    Messages:
    2,130
    Likes Received:
    1,024
    Ratings:
    +4,059 / 63 / -11
    Those "I'm not a robot" captcha screens you have to get through when using a vpn that delay the commencement of festivities
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Absolutely Spot On Absolutely Spot On x 1
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to view full quote
  19. PlumberAde

    PlumberAde Ballon d'Or Winner
    🏆 GOLD MEMBER 🏆 ❶ 1 YEAR ❶

    Joined:
    25 Mar 2018
    Messages:
    2,393
    Likes Received:
    500
    Ratings:
    +5,067 / 70 / -13
    When it starts buffering just as you get to the money shot.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to view full quote
  20. Face Paint

    Face Paint Ballon d'Or Winner
    🗐 10 PAGER 🗐

    Joined:
    11 Jun 2019
    Messages:
    1,258
    Likes Received:
    256
    Ratings:
    +1,509 / 84 / -20
    When you recognise your wife in a 80's three way.
     
    • Funny Funny x 9