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Victorians were bastards.

Discussion in 'Cardiff City Forum' started by Ainsley Harriott, Oct 10, 2018.

  1. Ainsley Harriott

    Ainsley Harriott Give your meat a good ol' rub
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    Some daft cunt in 7 A.D. or whenever the Victorian era was, decided to invent carpets that didn't extend all the way to the wall of a room.

    Some other daft cunt decided that the appropriate way to decorate a room was to install these shitty carpets in the centre of the room, and then for the remaining foot or so all around edges of the room, just casually paint it with bitumen...the tar-like shite they make roads with...and let it sink in all nice 'n deep into the wood.

    Now I'm trying to make these floors look like normal peoples' floors.

    This sexy sexy stuff eats through sanding sheets like Lee Tomlin eats through Greggs sausage rolls. Turns out I'm having to spend about 6 hours scrubbing it off with a wire brush & stuff so strong it burns your eyes, nose and mouth from the fumes, lest I spend £100 or so on sanding sheets.

    Why couldn't Victorians just wait a bit for that clever-clogs to invent a carpet that covered the entire room and negated the need for bellends to paint floors.

    :rage2:
     
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  2. Colonel Cardiffi

    Colonel Cardiffi C'mon CITY!
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    Bloody hell, that sound like a nightmare
     
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  3. Mad Al

    Mad Al Ballon d'Or Winner

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    Sanding is no good on bitumen, you need tar remover, the stuff you use to remove tar spots from car bodywork. Rub it in with a sponge scourer, then wire brush it, then wipe over with white spirit.
     
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  4. Colonel Cardiffi

    Colonel Cardiffi C'mon CITY!
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    Believe it or not, the absolute best way to get bitumen off floorboards is by pouring loads more bitumen on top of it

    Yes you heard that right, it might seem completely contrary to logic but that's just because it is.
     
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  5. smellons

    smellons Ballon d'Or Winner

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    Burn the house down and start again. It’s the logical solution.
     
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  6. TH63

    TH63 You are always close to me
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    Those carpets. They sound like rugs mate
     
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  7. PlumberAde

    PlumberAde Wales Regular
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    whoresofyore will correct your view of the Victorians.
     
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  8. Dr. Lecter

    Dr. Lecter Fuck off Dave.
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    Can't you just carpet over it?

    Alternatively invent a time machine, fill it with carpet, pop back in time and get the carpet down. Then simply return to the present day and save yourself a lot of time and effort.
     
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  9. Arfur Europe

    Arfur Europe Ballon d'Or Winner

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    I don't get it

    :nope:
     
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  10. Colonel Cardiffi

    Colonel Cardiffi C'mon CITY!
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    DeLorean went out of business ages ago mate. I suppose when you acquire the ability to travel through time then running a car company properly just kind of becomes a secondary concern.
     
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  11. Arfur Europe

    Arfur Europe Ballon d'Or Winner

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    Smellons is back
    Smellons is back
    Woooahhh
    Woooahhh


    :dance:
     

  12. Arfur Europe

    Arfur Europe Ballon d'Or Winner

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    Remember kids. Don't do rugs.
     
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  13. TDA

    TDA slightly clapped out ninja
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    Try very fine aluminium oxide sanding discs. They are designed for sanding metal, but I used them on an industrial sander to strip back a 70m² attic floor. It came up beautifully. Be careful, as even the fine ones are fierce, but they do the job.
     

  14. smellons

    smellons Ballon d'Or Winner

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    Aww, missed you too hun. Inbox me. XX. :kissingheart:
     
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  15. Ainsley Harriott

    Ainsley Harriott Give your meat a good ol' rub
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    :thumbup:

    This is what I've gone with (after a day of trying it the conventional way). A pain in the arse to scrub it all.
     
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  16. Ainsley Harriott

    Ainsley Harriott Give your meat a good ol' rub
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    This was option 2
     
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  17. Mad Al

    Mad Al Ballon d'Or Winner

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    A heat gun and scraper might help too, but be careful not to scorch the floor boards and wear a mask.
     

  18. Mad Al

    Mad Al Ballon d'Or Winner

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    Bitumen will clog them up as well, the heat from the sander just melts the bitumen clogging up the paper, floor restorers remove bitumen from wood with tar remover and white spirit.
     
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  19. Steve R

    Steve R Ballon d'Or Winner

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    Defo this. Protect that facial hair @Ainsley Harriott. :thumbup:
     

  20. Ainsley Harriott

    Ainsley Harriott Give your meat a good ol' rub
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    There isn't a mask in the world that could contain this beast.
     
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