Discussion in 'Cardiff City Forum' started by Sam1927, 14 Sep 2017.
LEIGH-ON-SEA. Help boost tourism by re-branding as Leyoncé.
TRICK people into thinking that you've been to the gym by being boring, hungry & sweaty.
PREPARE for Christmas early by falling out with relatives now.
ASSESS the ‘banter’ potential of your new workplace by shouting “Morning wankers!” as you walk in on your first day.
RECREATE your own Alan Partridge moment by going into Starbucks, saying your name is "Dan" and ignoring the barista for 5 mins.
THIEVES. It turns out the policeman in the window of Poundland is just a cardboard cut out. The coast is clear.
FOOL your smart watch into thinking you've run 3 km by having a wank.
STOP kids smashing your iPhone screen by simply using a protective cover. Like a condom for instance.
AVOID the pain of stepping on upturned plugs by walking around with a four socket extension lead attached to each foot.
SAVE money on expensive hot tubs by simply creating your own
CONVINCE people that you have American teeth by simply putting a train ticket in your mouth
SHOW other Facebook users how sensitive you are by typing c**t when you mean cunt.
BE MORE charitable in the new year by sponsoring a gym for £40 a month.
OLD PEOPLE. Avoid falling off the motorway by simply driving slowly and staying in the middle lane.
AUDI DRIVERS. Save money on wing mirrors by simply getting close enough to use the ones on the car in front.
CARDIFF CITY TV SUBSCRIBERS Moving to Belize or the Faroe Islands will ensure you get to watch every match
You love your dots
Internet in this hotel is shite!