Discussion in 'Cardiff City Forum' started by Sam1927, 14 Sep 2017.
SHOW your kids the true meaning of Christmas by having your credit card bills addressed to them.
EXPERIENCE the thrill of a school reunion by simply lying to a room full of strangers about your disappointingly sad life.
CAUSE PANIC amongst your neighbours by putting your bins out on the wrong day
PARENTS. Hone the skills required to put pyjamas on your toddler by attempting to push an octopus into a Pringles tube.
ALCOHOLICS don't worry where the next drink is coming from. Go to the pub, where a large selection is available at retail prices
SINGLE men Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside Etam with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.
SPICE up your day by shouting "THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" when someone walks in on you doing everyday things.
PARENTS. Prepare your kids for life in an office by smiling to their face then bitching about them behind their back.
Get away with a free grope by saying
DRIVING in the snow? Keep a shovel in the car to make it easier to hide the body if you hit someone.
SCHOOL LEAVERS Dont bother with 3 years at university. Simply use google as and when required. It's all you'll ever need to know
This is so true
The last thing you see as you fall unconscious from the anaesthetic is your surgeon opening a laptop and saying "Okay! So what the hell is an appendix anyway?"
You would hope the surgeon would be performing the op. Anyway, the point was, books in uni libraries are so outdated, rendering them practically useless, that virtually all academic info is sourced from online nowadays. Could go on to say about how little info is provided in lecture theatres etc....
DEAD butterflies make ideal hang gliders for ants.
PARENTS. Avoid scaring your children when watching violent movies by blindfolding them and locking them in a cupboard.