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We're all stupid sometimes thread

Discussion in 'Cardiff City Forum' started by Malarkey, 9 Sep 2019 at 22:04.

  1. Malarkey

    Malarkey Ballon d'Or Winner
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    Back in the early 90's I had a full beard. Decided it had to go. Got out my battery charged shaver.
    First I had goatee. Then a soul patch. Then just a moustache. Being clever I decided Hitler moustache!
    20 mins later after walking about like John Cleese I went back to shave it off. Battery had run out. Could I find another battery? No? Could I find a razor? No.
    Had to walk through Adamsdown with a Hitler moustache to buy new batteries from the "corner" shop.
     
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  2. Boo

    Boo Balloon Door Wanker
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    About 10 years ago, when parking, I reversed the car with the drivers door wide open, and didn't see a lamp post. Bent the door the wrong way. I can still hear the crunching sound and remember thinking "whats that noise?"

    Just lucky it wasn't a focus
     
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  3. Ainsley Harriott

    Ainsley Harriott Give your meat a good ol' rub
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    Asked my mum aloud whilst driving through rural France: "with all this land, why did all these people along this road build their houses fronting right onto the dual carriageway, rather than back a bit?"

    Didn't hit me for a few seconds that most of the houses were built in the 1700s and maybe they didn't have van-loads of Brits travelling to & from Cherbourg back then.
     
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  4. Jamieccfc

    Jamieccfc Ballon d'Or Winner
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    Remember almost knocked myself out walking down Tonyrefail by the old video shop there was a smart piece on the opposite side of the road gazing upon here I forgot there was a signage post in the way Bang! :hehe:
     
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  5. Bernie Clifton

    Bernie Clifton Club and Country Superstar
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    I remember when I was little, about 5 or so, I pooed the bed. My mother hit the roof out when she saw me playing with it in the morning. I thought it was playdoh.
     
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  6. Caroline St

    Caroline St Ballon d'Or Winner
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    :hehe:
     
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  7. Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe

    Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe Ballon d'Or Winner
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    Similar story of woe here. Driving through Swansea in my hard won Volvo convertible as a top Salesman prize, I was checking out some Swansea talent when I kerbed it doing about 35, instantly puncturing the tyre and shattering the alloy.

    Wasn't in the best of areas either, so a very hairy, not to mention long wait ensued for me to get collected by the recovery vehicle. Surrounded by Swansea chavs at one point in my sharp suit.

    To throw salt into the wounds, said lady walked back past me later on and laughed at my predicament

    :fedup:
     
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  8. Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe

    Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe Ballon d'Or Winner
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    Following on from this, I was busily checking out a lovely woman walking past the Juno Lounge on Wellfield Road on a hot summers day. I turned to check the traffic ahead and realised everything had stopped, so I urgently slammed on the anchors.

    The young lad behind me in a soft top was similarly distracted however, and didn't look up in time.

    Crunch straight into the back of me, and I think that one was a write off.
     
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  9. Mike1

    Mike1 Not Croesy
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  10. Dr. Lecter

    Dr. Lecter Forum Rent Boy
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    Not me but my missus on a regular basis.

    Just days ago, watching telly. A programme with some comedian in Budapest....

    Where's Budapest?

    Hungary.

    I thought it would be in India or something.

    Why?

    Isn't it where Buddha comes from...



    Later on, same programme. They visit a Harry Houdini museum....

    So Harry Houdini was a real person?

    Er yeah...

    Oh, I always thought it was a made up character like James Bond or Charlie Chaplin.

    :shrug2:
     
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  11. Dr. Lecter

    Dr. Lecter Forum Rent Boy
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    I remember doing the same on holiday in a caravan in west Wales. Lobbed mine out the window and watched some sheep gobble it all up.
     
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  12. Eat Y'self Fitter

    Eat Y'self Fitter ⭐ Forum President ⭐
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    And then there was that time she married you...
     
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  13. Joecity

    Joecity Poster of the Year
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    19 funny ratings. A funny story and a record I believe and thus I nominate @Malarkey in the award thing...
     
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  14. TH63

    TH63 How I wish you were here.
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    Nominate for what?
     
  15. Nugent

    Nugent Tory Bastard
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    Astra video? With the little beta max section on the side?
     
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  16. Dr. Lecter

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    She only married me because I’m her hand twin.
     
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  17. Dr. Lecter

    Dr. Lecter Forum Rent Boy
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    Hold fire a minute Joseph.

    A thread about being stupid needs to wait for Graham’s contribution before you start throwing nominations around.
     
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  18. steve davies

    steve davies SCARED OF DANDRUFF
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    Going to millwall away as a 16 year old back in 1974 and disproving all scientific research about adrenalin yes it initially courses through your veins but those big fuck off dockers quickly turned it into a brown and runny liquid
     
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  19. Delboyo

    Delboyo Suitcase for hire
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    Not me but i popped to see my mam last night, whilst looking out the window she turned to me and and said 'i wish these flies stop doing karma sutra against the windows' had to point it out that its kamikaze. She told me not to be rude, thats a book.

    :hehe:
     
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  20. Joecity

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    Funniest post.
     
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