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We're all stupid sometimes thread

Discussion in 'Cardiff City Forum' started by Malarkey, 9 Sep 2019.

  1. bluethrough

    bluethrough Ballon d'Or Winner
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    Many moons ago riding my old Triumph through Whitchurch village I approached the traffic lights, which were red. Coasting up to them there were 2 rather attractive women waiting at the lights in a MGB. Anyway obviously needing to look cool I pulled up beside them and rather impressively balanced myself beside them without putting my foot on the ground. Lights took a bit longer than expected to change so still smiling at the girlies I went to put my foot down only to find that the kick start had gone up the leg of my jeans....think Del boy falling through the bar but on a motorbike:fedup:. Right twat I felt
     
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  2. Steve R

    Steve R Ballon d'Or Winner
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    Not me, but our daughter......

    She had her first mobile phone for Christmas when she was around 15 years of age. On Christmas Day all the family were down ours. After dinner she decides to take a walk up the 'corner' shop to purchase some talk time for her new phone.....
    She comes back 10 minutes later looking a bit sorry for herself so we say, 'Awww, was the shop closed?'
    And she says, 'No, they were open but there was a big sign in the shop that said, PLEASE DON'T ASK FOR CREDIT!'

    This was in front of the whole family who just fell about laughing.
     
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  3. ViewFromAfar

    ViewFromAfar Ballon d'Or Winner
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    I guess you were fully understanding of his error.....no double standards etc (??) :hehe:
     
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  4. Face Paint

    Face Paint Club and Country Superstar
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    Wasp stung me on the nob in France 1987. I asked the nurse at the time if she could take the pain away but keep the swelling.
     
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  5. Feedback

    Feedback Ballon d'Or Winner
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    I was shopping in the Trafford centre, and upon my return to the car park I couldn't locate my car for love nor money. After about an hour and a half I called the shackles and advised her to come and pick me up as the car had been stolen. I also called the police informing them of the crime.

    Around half an hour later, both the doris and squad turn up at the same time. The first thing the wife says was 'have you checked the other car park'....

    'what other car park?' was my reply.

    the police walked off laughing...the wife, the cunt that she is, just got in her car and drove off laughing.
     
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  6. Hilly ap Willie

    Hilly ap Willie Ballon d'Or Winner
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    The Triumph Ezi Rider?
    Google Image Result for https://www.bikes2udirect.com/bikes_html/images/items/B0952.jpg - https://images.app.goo.gl/9ANBdpnWmpZGvzv77
     
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  7. bluethrough

    bluethrough Ballon d'Or Winner
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  8. Jamieccfc

    Jamieccfc Ballon d'Or Winner
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    For some random reason they had an Indiana Jones bandit in there
     
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  9. Mad Al

    Mad Al Ballon d'Or Winner
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    Me and my mate bought at an auction an emergency life raft thing that's used when planes crash in the sea. It was the bollocks, had a roof like a tent with a flashing beacon on top, a survival kit inside too. You needed a gas cylinder to inflate it so we bought one and headed off to porthcawl to go sailing. We got it on the beach, inflated it and then the life guards came running up and told us we can't put it in the sea because of the red flags or something. They said to take it down to Nottage where it's safer to go in the sea. Problem was once it's inflated that's it, you can't deflate it and inflate it again, so we put it on the roof of the transit van and we both had an arm out the window holding on to it for dear life. My mate's driving a bit too quick and I'm getting lifted out of the seat trying to hold on to the fucking raft, he hits 30 mph and we can't hold it, the wind blows it off the roof and straight on top of a motorcyclist who crashes into a hedge. We just floored it and fucked off back to Cardiff pissing ourselves laughing.
     
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  10. Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe

    Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe Ballon d'Or Winner
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    :hehe::hehe:

    Just imagining that guy telling his family what happened to him...

    :hehe:
     
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  11. Jamieccfc

    Jamieccfc Ballon d'Or Winner
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    I’m gonna have to start a petition for that book @Mad Al :hehe: I expect a signed a copy alright
     
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  12. ViewFromAfar

    ViewFromAfar Ballon d'Or Winner
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    His Insurance Claim account of what happened would have been good reading.... "I was following this Transit when all of a sudden a Life raft hit me".....yeah right...:hehe::hehe:
     
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  13. PlumberAde

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    On a train ride, I once remarked to my mate "Why do people keep dumping their baths in fields?"
     
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  14. razzle_ncafc

    razzle_ncafc First Team Debut

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    Working in the co-op on crwys road during the late 00's student boom, two Chinese female students approached me and asked I could show them to the Oreo. Having walked them to the biscuit aisle, and the Oreo section to be precise, one of them loudly shouted 'NOOO,THE COOKING OREO'

    They wanted cooking oil
     
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  15. Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe

    Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe Ballon d'Or Winner
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    Insurer: Can you describe said raft?

    Bruised Biker: Yeah, it was fully inflated, had flashing lights on the top

    Insurer: NURSE!!
     
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  16. bluethrough

    bluethrough Ballon d'Or Winner
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    Yeah it was a complete nightmare.

    Luckily air sea rescue were there within minutes as they had been called out to respond to a distress signal going off and had been tracking said life raft. Obviously a little confused as to how it was apparently traveling at 30mph through coastal lanes.

    Just for clarity, it wasn't really me
     
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  17. Malarkey

    Malarkey Ballon d'Or Winner
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    When I was 17 I had a casual job In Companies House. My best mate there was, who, can only be described as a lunatic from Ferndale. Lovely bloke but could drink like a fish.
    We and a couple of others decided to have an afternoon out in town. I tried to match the loony pint for pint. Needless to say I lost. Had to walk home from town to Adamsdown past the prison. For some reason they were digging a trench next to the prison wall. They had that plastic fencing of type thing blocking the trench off. My drunken mind said "Stay away from them plastic things". My drunken legs had other ideas. Guess where I ended up? I vaguely remember some bloke trying to help me "You alright mate?" "Yeah I'm fine"! He left. It had been raining for days. Every time I got to the top of the trench I'd come slithering down. Next thing I know there's police cars, prison wardens and wotnot. Someone had decided that someone had been "escaping" from Cardiff prison.
     
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    #37 Malarkey, 11 Sep 2019 at 22:36
    Last edited: 11 Sep 2019